theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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