And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
