you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
