Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
