i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you win again, gameday.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
