I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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