i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She announced her abortion via fbk
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
