Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
