I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
