I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
