I am puke
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
His hands were made for my vagina.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
