hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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