Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the day after is always just damage control
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
