dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
