Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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