My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize