Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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