Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
