he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
