oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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