Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
