As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
