Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
