i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
