i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
