he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
