Sry I called you an 8
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
