I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
