What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
