im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
