he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
