You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
only you would photoshop your dick
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize