What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
