No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
