I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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