grandma shit on top of the toilet
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
