found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
high people should be assigned attendants
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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