if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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