I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
