Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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