can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
