I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
