So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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