Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
