Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
