last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
