Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
