Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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