i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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