yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
