you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
