I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
