Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
