it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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