so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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