The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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