i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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