I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
