Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
