I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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