meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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