Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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