She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
