dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
