just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This is my gift to your gina
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
