Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
