You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
