I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
