Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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