I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
