I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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