Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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